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The Role of Diamonds in a Relationship

By Danielle

Senior diamond consultant; standing by to provide personal advice. She knows exactly what you are looking for while keeping your budget in mind.

December 22, 2020

Certain diamond jewels have a clear purpose in a relationship. Think about the diamond engagement ring to celebrate an engagement. Or diamond wedding bands to celebrate the day you both say “I do!”. But besides these two examples, there are other phases in the relationship where diamonds play a part as well.

Internationally recognized dating and relationship coach Sami Wunder, who specializes in helping high achieving women find love and is a huge fan of our diamonds. She describes the various stages of romantic relationships below and tells about the kind of diamond (jewelry) that is distinctive for each stage.

Sami Wunder love coachSami Wunder is a global dating and relationship expert who helps high-achieving women attract their dream relationship without sacrificing success.

The stages of every relationship

Every relationship consists of different stages. Roughly, we can speak of four stages. Stage one is the pre-relationship stage. The second one is the start or early beginning of a relationship. The third stage is the commitment phase. This is where the relationship becomes extra serious. Usually, it is around the time of the engagement and the wedding. The fourth is the final stage and marks the rest of the relationship.

woman wearing jewelry

First stage: pre-relationship diamonds

The first phase is actually the period before a relationship. The woman is single and perhaps didn’t even meet the love of her life yet. Still, diamonds can play a role here too. These are the diamonds she buys for herself. Diamonds are a physical manifestation of love and self-love is one of the most important aspects before one starts a serious relationship. It is unlikely for a single woman to purchase herself an engagement ring, but there are many other options. A delicate (solitaire) necklace or a diamond tennis bracelet are jewels that are highly popular with successful women. They treat themselves to something special, something valuable. Diamond jewelry is a great way to show your personal style and that one is perfectly competent to take care of herself.

woman wearing solitaire diamond necklace

Second stage: the beginning of the relationship

Once you meet someone, you usually start with the traditional dating period. The dates are a way to get to know each other better. At some point, you start to celebrate events together. Think about anniversaries and birthdays, but also holidays such as Thanksgiving and Christmas. Perhaps the two of you even go on a holiday or trip.

The gifts tell everything

Even though it is too early to talk about an engagement ring, you may receive other gifts from your partner. Audrey Hepburn once said: “You can always tell what kind of a person a man really thinks you are by the earrings he gives you.” And this is actually true. When the relationship is growing, earrings are a perfect gift. For earrings, you don’t need to know each other’s size and you can spend as much on them as you want. If your partner surprises you with a set of diamond earrings, this is a very good sign. Especially if the earrings are your style, It shows he is serious about you and about your relationship.

man giving necklace to woman

Third stage: time for commitment

The third stage tells you he is ready to start a life together. Important markers of this stage are moving in together, meeting the parents, and, of course, the proposal! The proposal is THE sign he is committed to you. The proposal goes almost always together with an eye-catching sparkling engagement ring. An engagement ring is a promise and many people attach great value to it. There are many different kinds of engagement rings. Yet the solitaire engagement ring is the most popular one.

The wedding ring as a band of commitment

Another valuable piece of jewelry in the commitment phase is of course the wedding ring. In contrast to the engagement ring, the wedding bands are jewelry you choose together. You can opt for matching rings or both have your own style. The most important thing of the wedding ring is what they symbolize: the two of you as a union. On your wedding day, you exchange these wedding rings. It is the start of the rest of your life as husband and wife.

engaged couple

Diamonds in the rest of the relationship

After the two of you get married, that doesn’t mean the diamond jewelry stops here. After all, diamonds are always a welcome gift and there is no such thing as too many diamonds. During your marriage (or another form of a long-term relationship) there are always certain occasions that simply call for diamonds. For example anniversaries, special birthdays, or holidays that hold a special meaning for both of you.

New or upgraded pieces

The diamonds you get during a long-term relationship can vary a bit from the one you are used to. Some people prefer larger stones, the so-called statement pieces. An example of this is a cocktail ring or a big necklace. Another option is the upgrade of existing pieces. This means you trade a smaller diamond for a bigger or better one. Also, if you’ve hinted you always wanted a certain kind of diamond jewelry, this is the phase you are most likely to receive it. Or – if it makes you more comfortable – pay for it together.

man giving woman diamond necklace

What happens to the diamonds if a relationship doesn’t work out?

Unfortunately, not every relationship lasts forever. But what happens to the diamonds you received? Well, that really depends on the situation since there are no official rules.

Jewelry from the early stage(s)

You can keep the diamond jewelry you received in the early stage of the relationship. This jewelry is usually not that expensive. Especially if you have that jewelry for quite a while, it is perfectly acceptable to keep it.

The engagement ring

For early-stage jewelry, it is (almost) always okay to keep your diamonds. But other rules apply to the engagement ring. If you are the one who breaks off the engagement, it is custom to give the ring back to your partner. However, if he is the one who ends the relationship, you have every right to keep it. If you already married for quite some time, there is also no harm in keeping it. However, in every scenario is understandable if you still decide to give it back. If the ring is a (family) heirloom, it always goes back to the ex-partner.

The wedding ring(s)

The wedding rings are chosen together. Even though you can opt to give each other the ring back, there is really no need. After all: what would you do with your partner’s ring? Therefore, you can keep it. If you have children, you can decide to melt the rings together to make a new piece of jewelry for the kids. Think about cufflinks for a boy or a necklace for a girl. This way, the children can still wear jewels that belonged to their parents.

So, in short, it is almost always okay to keep your diamond jewelry. If you don’t want to give it back, but you also don’t want to wear it anymore, you can always melt the gold. Some companies can buy gold from you. Others can get the diamonds out of their original setting and put them in a new one. A solitaire engagement ring is something you may not want to wear anymore if the relationship didn’t last. However, put the diamond in a solitaire necklace and you have a brand new jewel.

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